HOW GOOD ARE YOU IN BED?

1 The most important factor in a relationship is:
a) mutual respect
b) compatible astrology signs

2 My favourite fragrance is:
a) Vera Wang for Women
b) Windex

3 If your lover suggests using a condom during intercourse, would you ask:
a) "What's a condom?"
b) "What's intercourse?"

4 When your lover does something during sex that turns you off, you:
a) pretend to enjoy it to spare his feelings
b) scream "STOP THAT!!"

5 You use sex as:
a) a reward
b) a punishment

6 Your current Significant Other enjoys sex:
a) with the lights on
b) with someone else

7 Your preferred method of birth control is:
a) to use a diaphragm
b) to mention marriage

8 The idea of oral sex makes you:
a) salivate
b) regurgitate

9 An unmade bed describes:
a) your favourite playing field
b) the way he looks in clothes

10 The last person who sent you flowers was:
a) your significant other
b) the dinner guest who got sick all over your bathroom floor

11 Sex with a total stranger is:
a) immoral
b) your definition of marriage

12 Who wrote the book of love?
a) Ben Affleck
b) your accountant

13 When your lover doesn't get aroused, you:
a) say, "That's okay, honey. Let's try tomorrow."
b) pick up the phone and call someone else

14 You believe love:
a) makes the world go round
b) is as good an excuse as any

15 Your sex life is:
a) your business
b) everybody's business

16 During sex you think about:
a) your lover
b) your doorman

17 For a romantic date, you'd serve a bottle of:
a) French Champagne
b) Viagra

18 Home is where:
a) your heart is
b) you do your laundry

19 You don't need a lot of money because:
a) you have your health
b) you have your credit cards

20 You like having money because:
a) you can help others
b) you're hard on shoes

21 Your most erogenous zone is:
a) in the crook of your neck
b) in the frozen foods department

22 You need sex:
a) every day
b) every leap year

23 You are really impressed if your lover:
a) goes out of his way to please you
b) wants to know your address

24 Your ideal date is with:
a) Russel Crowe
b) Hillary Duff

OPTIONAL QUESTIONS

25 Why are you taking this test?
a) It's here
b) You hope to improve yourself

26 If a test told you to jump out of the window, would you do it?
a) No
b) Only if it would make my breasts bigger

The results

SCORING

75-125: You and your lover are really compatible. You see eye to eye on almost everything. You have a lot in common and are perfectly suited for each other. I give your relationship one week.

45-70: You and your lover share the basic ingredients necessary for a satisfying sexual relationship. You agree on some of the most important things and are therefore relatively compatible. If one of you has a lot of money, your relationship has potential.

0-40: Obviously, you two have absolutely nothing in common, which means you are incredibly hot together. Be forewarned that you are in serious danger of a fatal attraction that may result in a long-term commitment. Proceed with extreme caution.